Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Memorial Day!

I just wanted to take a minute to say a thank you to those who serve in our military to keep our country safe. I hope that everyone takes a minute to remember what this day is REALLY for, its not just a 'day off from work' or a drinking holiday. I admit, I love a 3 day weekend, but I always take a moment to say a prayer for those who have lost thier lives or have lost loved ones, those who have been wounded, are back home or still overseas fighting. Thank you from the deepest part of my heart and soul. If not for you my beautifl daughter and I would not be enjoying this time together.

So far we've spent the holiday running errands. Dollar Store and IKEA. Now we are hanging out at home, but thinking of takin her to the mall later so we can run out some more energy. I'm thinking of running over to My Fit Foods too and pick up some meals for lunch & dinner this week so I can pack up my kitchen!

Who am I kidding-I wont be packing today.....

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Finally a plan!

Oh thank goodness, things are FINALLY looking up. I found a beautiful apartment in a really great town that I'll be moving to in July. My current apartment will let me out of my lease early, so that will be no problem. The new area is really great. Its where I was set to move a year ago, but at the last minute changed my mind. Everywhere I shop or visit is within a 5 minute drive. The apartment itself is great. Its HUGE. A big kitchen, side by side refrigerator  wood floors, big garden tub with low lighting (great for a nice evening soak), vaulted ceilings, beautiful arched entries and big closets. Plenty of space and clean well maintained and I cant WAIT to move!

M starts her new preschool soon too. I'm so excited about that. This is a very well rated school and I think she is going to have a great time making new friends. We are very close to a huge wonderful park that I can take her to so she can get some great exercise.

Speaking of exercise, I'm FINALLY out of the boot for good!! I can slowly work back up to full intensity, but I can go back to Camp Gladiator this week! I'm also going to go stock up a few lunches from My Fit Foods also. I am so ready to be back on the path to health!! I've hated missing the last round of CG, and haven't felt GOOD again since I stopped working out. With the stress of where to move, the stress at work, and with M's staph infection coming back, I've needed that release of working out more than ever! So I'm relieved I can get back to it starting as soon as tomorrow-not sure if I'll go tomorrow or start back on Tuesday, but I'm hoping to get in 3 workouts a week. Which reminds me, I need to DO MEASUREMENTS this time!! I completely forgot last time-oops.

I'm still so anxious to get to work on my nutrition studies, but have had to shell out more money in the last few weeks than I wanted (and expected) so that will need to be put on hold sadly, until I have the $250 to spare. And I need to save up so I can get a few nice things for the new place in July. I'm so excited!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Rough weekend

Wow, I'm so super emo tonight. Not really sure why. Just feeling lonely I guess. M has been in her 'terrible 2s' stage lately and has been a bit beastly so she hasn't been sleeping well, which is probably contributing to the emo feeling I have. I'm actually crying sitting here watching the Jerseylicious 'reunion' show because they are talking about Gigi & Frankie breaking up. Frankie's mom is on talking about how much she loves Gigi and how excited they were wanting to welcome her into the family, and now they don't get to. You have to be watching it I guess. There's a reason its making me cry but I'm not really going to get into. I just sort of miss a family that I thought I was going to be part of. Yeah-I'm just a bit lonely I suppose.

Anyway....I have alot of internal turmoil going on. Trying to get some things figured out in my head. Everytime I make a decision I second guess it, and the decisions I HAVE made I feel like are the wrong ones. I've managed to keep the drama out of my life, but sadly the stress (work, living situation, financial, lack of sleep, injury etc.) won't seem to go away and its starting to wear on my. Working 50 hours a week, being a full time single mom of a willful, stubborn, emotional 2 year old, hating where I live, and not having any sort of companionship from friends is starting to wear on me. I just have to remember I need to be stronger than this. Changes are coming, its just very very slow, and I'm so incredibly impatient. And every single decision I make affects M. I'm terrified of making the wrong choices and messing up her life. She deserves a happy, excited, loving and strong mother and home life, and I feel like she isnt quite getting that now, and I hate that.

I just need to get back in the swing of working out, and get into a new home. No matter how hard I try I can't make this hole I live in a 'home' and its a big stresser. Just trying to focus on each day and getting through each day....I need a vacation.....

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Hello summer!

I swear Texas weather makes me crazy. We had what, 5 days of nice spring weather, now its muggy and 90s every.single.day. BLAH.

Anyway.....I'm so glad its May at least. Mothers Day was uneventful and downright boring. Just like any other day in my life. This weekend is my mommys birthday. I *think* we are going to the zoo. I LOVE taking M to the zoo! Especially now that she knows so many more animals, its just a lot more fun.

I'm so ready to be back at Camp Gladiator. Not working out is literally killing me. I miss my trainers, I miss the feeling of accomplishment, I miss the way I feel just in general. I'm so freakin crabby now. Like Elle Woods said "Exercise gives you endorphines, endorphines make you happy". So very true. 6 days and the boot comes off, and you bet I will be at CG at 6:15 on Monday!!! CG WUT WUT! I'm still wanting to work on my nutrition cert, but I'm trying to save up for the move.

I'm actually starting to hate home/apartment hunting. I'm stressing about finding something. I really really really don't want to live in an apartment again. really really really don't. But finding one available in July (or August if my mom changes plans) is what i'm worried about. Ive found 4 that I'd move into TOMORROW, but houses are generally an 'immediate move in' sort of thing. I love looking at all these beautiful spacious interiors, and I want a yard so badly for Molly to play in. She doesnt get alot of outdoor time right now, and its beginning to cause her to be a little hyper in the afternoons! Lucky me LOL.

I'm hopeful that in July the perfect house will open up. One in my price range, with a big open back yard, bright and beautiful kitchen and a sunny airy bedroom for my little princess!!!