Saturday, September 15, 2012

Dancing Days

So I'm watching Burlesque for the first time ever. I've always loved to dance. When I was younger I used to turn up the radio and dance around the living room when my mom wasnt home and pretend that I was in a club like that (well sort of) I'd sing and dance and pretend I had back up singers and dancers. Crazy I know. I swear if my mom ever caught me she would think I was o ncrack while she was gone. I loved dancing to TLC and Aaliya, I would sing to Sarah McLachlan. I would imagine in my head scenes similiar to what I'm watching now-up on stage, people cheering and getting goosebumps from the sound of m voice and the great amazing moves that I choregraphed. My dream when I was younger was that I wanted to choreograph dances for clubs, for videos, for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. I loved making up dances in my head. Correction-LOVE. Not past tense. I still do it. Driving the road and a new song comes on and I am making up the dance in my head. Its why I got my Zumba instructor license, because I could have the chance to actually choreograph dances for real. Except of course the moves have to be simple and easy for non-dancers to do.

I love dance just in general. Ballet, the basic of dance. I never DID ballet, but real dance moves are all based on ballet. I was on drill team, I took dance classes. I was in choir too. But I'm not a great singer, in fact I wont let anyone listen to me now except Molly. But when I'm singing with her in the car i will BELT IT OUT. I love Christina Augilars voice, and Kelly Clarkson. And Sarah McLachlan. And really anything thats deep and BIG like that. So my daydreams would be filled with me singing "Building a Mystery" on a stage in a dark club, or being a Pussycat Doll dancing on stage. Or hell even one of the dancers on Coyote Ugly. Cheezy huh? Yeah I know. I dont care. Anything for attention, for people to think "wow look at how amazing she dances or how great she sings" I MISS dancing. Watching this movie is making me miss it even more.

When you are on stage dancing you get to become someone else. Someone sweet, someone mysterious, someone fiery, someone sexy. Depends on the way you move, the song you use, the costume, the tone of your dance. You can become someone else for 2 minutes. You take the song and tell a story with your body, your face, you movements. It can be a sad emotional story, it can be a happy story, it can be love story or a story of desire. Same thing with music. I've always loved music. How a song can put your emotions into words. I've never been great at expressing my emotions. And the last few years I've only been able to express my anger not always effectively. I swear I wish i could walk around with a soundtrack of my life playing all the time. A song can bring me to tears, make me smile, or bring back a memory so vivid that I can smell the smells, hear the sounds, and feel every emotion I felt the first time.

I've basically just been rambling while I'm watching the movie. Wishing I'd been able to follow my dream of being involved somehow in the dancing world. That I was choreographing for the DCC (which I think about everytime I watch the show) or designing the next hot stars hot video. Or having my own dance studio.

So now my passion for dance will hopefully transfer to Princess, and I hope she enjoys dance.

I feel like I have much more to write but I'm being sucked into this movie, so perhaps I'll be back to add more, but more than likely when this movie is over I will begin dreaming about being a club singing and dancing again....much like the dreams I had as a teenager.

Tuesday, September 04, 2012


I cant believe September is finally here. I swear I could just copy my Fall post from last year and paste it and I doubt much will have changed. I love fall. I love the smells: apples & cinnamon, the crisp smell of hay and fall leaves. I love the tastes-pumpkin pies, pumpkin spice lattes, apple cobblers, ciders, butternut squash soups, anything from the crock pot-pot roast always seems 'fallish' as does chicken and dumplings. I love the changing of the colors-the reds and browns and golds. The way the leaves change colors, the way the sky looks during the sunset. I love the way it feels-festive, cool brisk weather, snuggling up (not that I have anyone) under a blanket at a FOOTBALL game (Hook em!!), the State Fair of Texas-one of my all-time favorite things to do EVER. the sense of spirit for Thanksgiving and Halloween and knowing that Christmas is just around the corner. I love the CLOTHES. Leggings, warm cuddly sweaters, and of course the boots. God how I LOVE my boots. I'm so excited for that first cool day that I can wear them. Ok ok ok-I dont have much excitement in my life, so YES I'm excited to break out my boots.

Anyway....I can't believe fall is coming. On September first this year I busted out the mini-crock pot and made Princess her favorite dish, little smokies. I cranked up the college football on the TV and enjoyed an end-of-summer beer, Breckenridge Summerbright, and broke out my first Apple Spice fragrance warmer. It was a fabulous day. Of course it was still 100 degrees, so I'm annoyed by THAT part, but other than that I had the fall favorites. Except my pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. The one thing that I 'splurge' on. Mmmmm that sounds tasty right now. Tempted to text the baby-daddy and ask him to bring me one tomorrow.

Ah I love you and everything you make me feel.