Thursday, March 06, 2014

When did weight become....

Such an open topic for discussion? When did it become acceptable to discuss a person’s weight outside of a fitness activity or doctors office? When did it become ok to judge someone based on their size? And when did that acceptable size become a stick and bones size 0? I’m by no means a fat girl. I’m ‘fluffy’ as I like to put it. I’ve got more fluff than I’d like right now. BUT I’m actively changing it. I'm sure as hell not changing it so that people can judge me solely on my size.  I’m not changing it to be skinny.  Im actually ok with being a little bit bigger. It took a long time, but it doesn't bother me to NOT be skinny because I know my weight is not WHO I AM. I’m changing it to be more fit and healthier. But what if I weighed the same as I do right now but it was all muscle? Is that better? Is it the number on the scale, the waist of the pants or the look of a person that you have to judge?

 Answer-none of it. No wonder there is so much bullying these days. So many people are fixated on the size of a person’s belly rather than on the size of their heart and personality. A friend of mine posted on facebook the other day a rude comment made about her size from a former acquaintance and that literally made my fists clench and my temper flare. How dare some judgemental BULLY comment first on the fact that she had gained weight instead of something like “good to see you again” or the such. Why on earth did he think it was ok to even say the words ‘wow you used to be so skinny’. As if the size of her body is anyway a determinate of her personality. You see so many celebs in magazines talking about their weight and so many slammed for not being ‘thin’. Why? Why do you HAVE to be a size 0 to have a part on a tv show? I adore Rebel Wilson, especially in Pitch Perfect when she says “ I cant believe they let my sexy fat ass in”. She embraced her size. I read about a pact that her and Melissa McCarthy made to not lose weight-basically saying they were happy in the skin they are in and don’t feel like they need to change to be accepted. And people love them. Their personalities are funny and sweet and THAT is what makes them both beautiful.

Being overweight certainly can cause health issues and I’m a strong supporter of having a healthy body, but when did healthy ONLY equal skinny? How many of those skinny girls are struggling with eating disorders? Or working out TOO much (yes there is such a thing!) and damaging their body? I’m not a doctor, I haven’t claimed to be so that's not what this is about. But I have some common sense (usually) and what upsets me is the emotional pain so many people get by being judged simply by how they look. I believe in being active and eating well, and I do my best to do both of those things, not just for me but as a good example for my daughter. She is in activities and I try to make sure she drinks lots of water (she's never had a drop of tea or soda!) and has good food around. I actually love to work out. Shocking right? But I do. I enjoy Camp Gladiator when I was able to do it, I love going to Zumba, and I love my current dance class. I want to get back into yoga, and start the Barre fitness classes. Besides the fact that its FUN, its a great way to meet new people and do something good for your body. I get that so many people are overworked and stressed out, but squeezing in that workout helps boost your mood, and surprisingly your energy. Sadly though, so many people can't afford the 'healthy' food or the workouts. But get a group of friends together to go for a walk (time change is coming so that's what I plan to do!), find some friends to play something like soccer or volleyball, try out a new sport, or just start by cutting one or two bad things from your diet. Start small. Find something you enjoy and do it more often and it will be less like 'working' out and more like having fun. Its very simple to start, and easy to continue if you find something you enjoy about it.
I just wish that people could take a moment and think of how their words affect others. And that a person's weight is not a definition of who they are. Look at their heart and their soul before you judge them solely on weight. And again, when did it become acceptable to comment on a persons weight? I'm now around a lot of young girls with my Princess being in all star cheer, dance, and soccer and I hate to think that any of these beautiful young athletes feel they are judged on how they look. Its just not fair. My dream job was always to have my own dance studio, but these days I'd love to get involved in a healthy school program-activity programs and healthy lunches. If we teach our kids the value of their health and wellness then that's something they can hold on to forever and maybe it will help with the judgments and bullying over things like weight. But to also teach them that a person is a person no matter their size. We have no right to judge or taunt them based on their waistline.
My hope for my child and all her friends-that they grow healthy and happy and realize that people deserve kindness and compassion no matter what.


  1. Bravo, Mary! I'm sorry for your friend. It's hard enough to gain weight, and then to have someone be so nasty about it, wow! I hope your friend did not take that horrible comment to heart. Good for you for being so healthy!

  2. I think she knows that its not about her, but him. But the bottom line is people should be judged on actions and words, not what they eat and what size pants they were. I also think that its time people let nasty words roll over them-if someone comments on your size it says more about them than it does you.